Peaceful vs Permissive Parenting: 3 Key Differences

What If I Raised My Kids the Way I Treat My Dog? As a mother, parenting coach, and dog owner, I’ve found myself wondering: What if I raised my kids the way I raise and treat my dog? It’s a funny question at first, but the more I think about it, the more powerful it feels. If I treated my children like I do my dog, I would: Meet their needs without hesitation. When my dog is tired, I let her rest. When she’s restless, I play with her or take her outside for fresh air and exercise. I trust her needs are real, and I respond without judgment or question. Expect mistakes and stay calm about them. If my dog ruins a toy or has an accident, I don’t think, She’s being bad. I know she’s learning and doesn’t know better. I don’t question if she’s a “good dog” or if she’s being manipulative. Celebrate small wins. When she listens, when she sits, when she leaves the garbage alone, I am her biggest fan and cheer her on, like she just won the Olympics. Every success is worth a joyful, encouraging celebration. Show unconditional love, every single day. Whether she’s behaving well or having a hard day, my love for her doesn’t change. She knows she is safe and loved with me, NO MATTER WHAT. Imagine raising our kids with that lens: Meeting their needs without judgment. Understanding and expecting mistakes as part of growth. Celebrating steps forward. Offering love that doesn’t waver based on behavior or performance. If I raised my kids like I treat my dog, I imagine they would grow up believing they are capable, worthy, and resilient. They would take risks, bounce back (and learn) from mistakes, and feel confident in who they are, because they would trust that they are enough. And the truth is, we don’t have to imagine it. We can start today! Lead with love Respond with patience Celebrate every small win Our kids don’t need perfection from us. They need our consistency, our patience, our understanding, and our unwavering belief in their growth and who they are becoming. Let’s work together! I’d love to support you on your journey. You can schedule a FREE consultation call here and take the first step!

We’ve all been there. You ask once… then again… and before you know it, you're yelling “CALM DOWN!”, which, let’s be honest, never actually calms anyone down. Here’s the truth: yelling may feel like it works in the short term, but it often does more harm than good. It can scare our kids, damage trust, and leave everyone feeling disconnected. If you’re tired of the power struggles and guilt afterward, there is a better way. Let’s talk about what to say instead. Swap Yelling for Connection Instead of: “CALM DOWN!” Try: “How can I help you right now?” Instead of: “STOP THAT!” Try: “I see you’re having a hard time. What’s going on?” Instead of: “I’ve had ENOUGH!” Try: “I need a break. Let’s take a moment to reset.” Why This Works Connection doesn’t mean you’re being permissive. It means you’re tuning in before you step in. You can be calm and firm at the same time. You can hold boundaries and lead with empathy. When we shift our language, we shift the energy and that opens the door to true cooperation, not just compliance. Because connection is more than just a parenting buzzword. It’s the foundation of: Emotional safety Growth Long-term trust Real, lasting cooperation So next time you feel the urge to yell, pause. Take a breath. And try a connected phrase instead. You might be surprised at how powerful those small swaps can be. You’ve got this. And I’m here cheering you on. Warmly, Andrea Parenting Coach P.S. Want more tools to stay calm and confident in tough moments? Let's jump on a FREE 20-minute call (click here to schedule). I'm working on something special just for you. 👀

I witnessed something the other day that hit me hard. (I live in NYC, where it’s common to overhear people’s conversations while walking down the street.) A 4-year-old child was crying (nothing unusual), just the kind of typical, loud emotion little ones sometimes have. But what followed was painful to hear. The adult with him snapped: “What the f*ck are you crying for?! Shut up.” I don’t share this to judge her. Quite the opposite. That moment was a signal flare, not from the child, but from the mom’s nervous system. A moment like that says: “I am maxed out. I don’t have space, I don’t have tools, I’m barely holding it together.” It’s not the kind of parent she wants to be. I’m sure of it. And maybe you’ve been there too, not with those exact words, but in the feeling of: “I can’t take this anymore.” Here’s what I want you to know: 💡 When we explode, it doesn’t mean we’re broken. It means we need support. We need more than just advice, we need compassion, tools, and space to regulate ourselves before we can help our children regulate themselves. If you’ve had a moment like this, you’re not alone. It doesn’t define you. But it can be a turning point. 💬 I’d love to hear from you. What’s been your hardest parenting moment lately? What do you wish someone had told you in that moment? Let’s talk about it. Let’s stop pretending we have to do this perfectly or silently, because parenting is hard, AND it’s not meant to be done alone. 💛 Need support? I’m here. Book a free 20-minute call with me for a chance to exhale, get some clarity, and take one small step toward calmer, more connected parenting. You don’t have to do this alone.

As the New Year gets underway, many of us think about fresh starts and resolutions. For parents, this provides an opportunity to reflect on how we want to show up for ourselves, our families, and our children in the months ahead. Instead of focusing on rigid, Pinterest-worthy resolutions (which I believe sets us up for failure), consider setting intentions. Intentions are similar to resolutions, but they are kind of like the cooler, less judgmental cousin. What Are Intentions? Think of intentions as flexible guideposts that nudge you in the right direction. They gently guide your actions and focus on the energy and values you bring to your day. They are rooted in who you want to be , not just what you want to do . Best of all, intentions are about progress, not perfection. And honestly, in parenting, we need all the little wiggle room we can get. Why Intentions Are a Parenting Lifesaver Because parenting is an ever-evolving journey and there are no one-size-fits-all answers (despite what the internet says), intention setting allows us to embrace the idea that we are always learning, growing, and aiming to be the best parents we can be. Setting intentions allows us to stay grounded in the chaos and helps us to remember what matters most: connection, love, presence, and understanding (and surviving bedtime). This is especially important as we juggle so many roles and responsibilities. Intentions remind us to focus on what we can control- our mindset, our reactions, and our ability to support and nurture our families- even when life throws us curveballs. How to Set Intentions Reflect on What Matters Most Take a minute (probably in the shower, because that might be your only alone time) and think about what you value as a parent. What do you want to prioritize this year? Is it more patience, quality time, or more family fun? Reflect on the big picture and let your intentions come from what’s most meaningful to you. Be Specific AND Flexible Intentions should feel aligned with your values, they also need to be specific enough to guide your actions. For example, instead of saying, “I want to be more patient,” you might say, “I intend to pause and take 3 deep breaths before responding when I feel frustrated (and my kids are bouncing off the wall)”. Keep It Kind Be gentle with yourself. Remember, no one gets it right every day. Parenting is challenging, and some days don’t go as planned. Intentions are about progress, NOT perfection. Mess up? No problem! You’ll have another chance tomorrow. Involve Your Family Make it a family affair. Ask your kids, “What’s something we can work on together this year? You might hear some gems like, “We can all try and listen more” or “Let’s eat more ice cream.” Either way, it’s a win, because this will foster a sense of teamwork and shared purpose. Final Thoughts At the end of the day, intention setting is NOT about fixing yourself or your family. (Spoiler: You’re not broken.) As you set your intentions, remember it’s about showing up with love, some humor, and a whole lot of imperfection. Parenting can be messy, and it’s also full of moments that make it all worthwhile. Here’s to a year filled with connection, love, laughter, and mindful moments! You’ve got this, even on days it doesn’t feel like it. What’s one intention you’re setting in the New Year? Share it in the comments or send me a message- I’d love to hear from you! Warmly, Andrea

This morning, I watched a mom trying to get her toddler to leave the playground by saying, “Bye, I’m leaving!”. The little one ignored their mom and continued playing. The mom took a few steps, as if to leave, looked at her phone (now distracted), and allowed her child to continue playing. Every few minutes the mom would repeat her request (with a lack of emphasis) and the standoff continued. This approach—pretending to leave—rarely works and can feel unsettling for a child. Imagine thinking your grown-up might leave you alone in a public space. So scary! Over time, it teaches fear, doubt, and mistrust. Worse, kids learn to tune you out because your words don’t match your actions. What parents want is a child who listens, cooperates, and trusts them. That starts by building habits and routines early that strengthen connection and trust. Here’s a better way to handle leaving the playground: Acknowledge their feelings: “You’re having so much fun, and it’s hard to leave.” Offer choices: “Do you want to open the gate or should I?” Set a clear boundary after two chances: “Would you like to walk, or do you need my help?” By showing empathy and staying consistent, you foster cooperation and trust—not just in the moment, but for years to come. Have questions or want more tips on managing transitions? Let’s talk, I’m here to help!

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What if bedtime didn't have to feel like a negotiation? What if morning routines could flow without constant reminders? What if getting out the door could actually be...easy? This isn’t as far-fetched as it might sound. The secret lies in moving away from bribes and rewards and toward communication, understanding and connection. So instead of: "If you take a bath now, you can watch TV after" Try: "Your body worked hard playing today. Would you like to start your relaxing bath now or in five minutes?" I’m not saying the kids get to decide whether or not to (insert anything) take a bath, but I am saying that by providing an explanation and offering a choice will likely yield cooperation. This simple shift does something powerful: aside from building your relationship it also helps your child understand the 'why' behind what you ask, building their own internal motivation rather than relying on external rewards. When children understand the reasoning behind requests, they're more likely to make positive choices – not just now, but for life. Schedule a FREE, no obligation call right now if you would like support in making this shift. Best, Andrea Check out my website here

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