Parenting Hack to Diffuse Power Struggles

Parenting in Uncertain Times: How to Be a Calm Anchor for Your Kids The Weight of the World Is Hard to Escape. Every morning, it seems the world is a little heavier than the day before. You wake up to alerts on your phone, headlines on the front page, the endless 24-hour news cycle; they all scream chaos. It’s overwhelming. And here’s the thing: our kids feel it too. Even if they don’t understand, they sense when we’re unsettled, anxious, or distracted. What Our Kids Really Need From Us As a parent coach, I remind myself, and the parents I work with of this simple truth: Kids don’t need us to have all the answers They need us to be their safe place. When the world feels uncertain, connection at home matters more than ever. Model Calm, Teach Resilience If you can model calm during hard moments, your child learns resilience. They see that even when things feel shaky, it’s possible to stay steady. Remember : If you feel supported, you show up with more patience, presence, and power. Don’t let uncertainty be an excuse for stress or yelling. Don’t use circumstances to justify impatience or frustration. Commit to calm even in uncertain times. Your calm presence is one of the best teachers your child will ever have. Practical Ways to Anchor Your Family 💛 Keep routines where you can. Predictable rhythms such as meals, bedtimes, and family rituals create a sense of safety for kids. 💛 Talk honestly, but age-appropriately. Be open about what’s happening in the world, and filter it through what your child can understand. Most importantly, help them notice the difference between what they can control vs. what they cannot, and reassure them. 💛 Build small moments of joy. Play a game, go for a walk, or have a spontaneous dance in the kitchen. These moments remind kids (and you) that even when the world feels heavy, fun and joy are possible. No Excuses for Dysregulation There’s no excuse for passing your stress onto your kids. That doesn’t mean you’ll never lose your cool, but it does mean owning your reactions and doing the work to regulate yourself (and repair when needed). Your children need your calm more than your commentary. The Heart of It All You don’t have to be perfect. You just need to be present. Your calm presence, even in small ways, is the most powerful gift you can give your children right now. ➡️ Save this as a reminder for the hard days. 💬 I’d love to hear from you: what helps you stay grounded when the world feels overwhelming? Best, Andrea Robbins, M.Ed | Parent Coach | Parenting Vistas P.S. If staying calm in these uncertain times feels hard, you’re not alone. That’s exactly the kind of work I do with parents- helping them build patience, presence, and connection at home. Book a free call here.

After years of teaching, raising my own kids, and now coaching parents, there are a few truths I wish I had learned sooner. They’ve changed the way I show up, not only for my children but also for the families I support. When my kids were little, I remember thinking, “Why does everything feel like a battle? Why is this so hard?” One morning, my son refused to put on his shoes. I tried reasoning, then bribing, then threatening that we’d be late. By the time we got out the door, I was frazzled, he was crying, and the whole day felt off. When my daughter was a toddler, I’ll never forget the grocery store meltdown over crackers. At the time, I thought she was being “difficult.” Now I know she was simply overwhelmed, and I didn’t yet have the tools to see it that way. And when they both hit middle school, suddenly every request felt like an argument, whether homework, screens, or anything else. I used to think they were just being stubborn. What I didn’t realize was that they were craving independence, and my automatic “no’s” were fueling power struggles instead of building trust. Looking back now, I realize I was missing a few key truths about parenting. Truths that would have made those mornings so much smoother. These are lessons I learned later as a parent coach, but oh how I wish I had known them sooner. Here they are: 1️⃣ Kids aren’t giving us a hard time; they’re having a hard time. I used to interpret big emotions and meltdowns as disrespect or defiance. What I’ve learned is that behavior is communication. A child acting out is really saying, “I need help.” This shift allows us to respond with curiosity instead of frustration. 2️⃣ Connection is the shortcut. For so long, I thought my job was to fix every behavior. But the truth is, when kids feel safe, seen, and understood, so many challenges soften on their own. Connection opens the door to cooperation faster than any punishment, bribe, or reward ever could. 3️⃣ Regulation starts with me. I once believed that if I just had the perfect script or strategy, things would go smoothly. What I know now is that kids borrow our calm. When I regulate myself: slowing down, breathing, staying grounded, it makes it so much easier for my kids to follow my lead. Parenting doesn’t have to be about constant battles. Small shifts in perspective create big changes in connection and cooperation. Which one of these do you wish you had learned sooner? Hit reply and let me know—I’d love to hear your perspective. Best, Andrea Robbins, M.Ed | Parent Coach | Parenting Vistas P.S. If you’re ready to put these shifts into practice but feel stuck on the “how,” I can help. In my coaching sessions, we break these ideas down into simple, doable steps that bring more calm and cooperation into your home. Click here to book a free call with me, and let’s talk about what would make the biggest difference for your family.

The Power of Saying Yes (Without Losing Your Boundaries) As parents, it can feel like we’re on repeat with the word “no.” “No, not right now.” “No, that’s too messy.” “No, we don’t have time.” Limits are important. But kids (of all ages) also need to hear “yes.” Saying yes doesn’t mean giving in to everything; it means finding ways to affirm, encourage, and connect. Practice Saying YES Look for the “yes” inside the request. “Can we have ice cream?” “Yes, on Friday after dinner.” Say yes to independence. “Yes, you pick out your own clothes today.” Say yes to connection. “Yes, let’s read one more book.” Say yes to flexibility. “Yes, you can wear your costume to the store.” Here are 5 reasons why “yes” can be one of the most powerful tools in your parenting toolbox: 1. Builds Connection and Trust “Yes” communicates to your child: I see you. I hear you. What you want matters. Toddler: “Yes, you can wear your rain boots to the store.” Tween: “Yes, I’d love to hear about that book you’re into.” Teen: “Yes, I’ll drive you to your friend’s game this weekend.” Even small yeses build trust and help kids feel valued. 2. Encourages Autonomy and Confidence When you say yes, you give kids chances to make choices, try new things, and learn from mistakes. Toddler: “Yes, you can pour your own milk.” Tween: “Yes, you can make your own lunch for school tomorrow.” Teen: “Yes, you can plan the family dinner one night this week.” Saying yes grows independence and decision-making skills. 3. Balances Out the No’s Kids hear no all day long for safety, schedules, or practicality. Finding spots for yes helps prevent constant battles. Toddler: “Yes, we can play for five more minutes before clean-up.” Tween: “Yes, you can ride your bike after homework’s done.” Teen: “Yes, you can stay up later on Friday night since there’s no school Saturday.” The more reasonable yeses you sprinkle in, the easier it is for your no’s to stick. 4. Supports Emotional Regulation Positive responses lower frustration and reduce power struggles. A well-timed yes can turn a meltdown into cooperation. Toddler: “Yes, you can hold my keys while we walk inside.” Tween: “Yes, I understand you need a break before starting homework. Let’s set a timer.” Teen: “Yes, I get why you’re upset. Let’s when you’re ready.” “Yes” models flexibility, and kids mirror that back. 5. Creates Joy and Memories Sometimes, the best moments come from saying yes to play, adventure, or a silly idea. Toddler: “Yes, let’s read one more book before bed.” Tween: “Yes, let’s have a game night inside the fort.” Teen: “Yes, let’s grab ice cream after practice.” These small yeses often become the moments your kids remember most. Remember: Boundaries Still Matter You don’t need to say yes to everything. The goal is to say yes whenever you reasonably can. That way, when you must say no, your child is more likely to hear it and accept it without a fight. ✨ Try this today: Notice one place where your automatic response might be “no” and see if there’s room for a “yes.” If saying “yes” feels hard or you’re not sure how to balance it with boundaries, I can help. Together, we can find the right rhythm for your family. Schedule your free call here.

I talk a lot about connection with my clients. It’s one of those words we hear often in parenting, but sometimes it can feel a little vague. What does connection really look like? Why does it matter so much? Connection is at the heart of parenting. It is what helps children feel secure, valued, and loved. The good news is that connection does not require big gestures. Small, consistent moments of presence can have a lasting impact on your relationship with your child. It is about attuning to your child, really noticing their feelings, listening without judgment, and showing them they matter, even in the middle of big emotions or hard moments. When kids feel seen and understood, something shifts. Cooperation comes more easily. Closeness grows. Their hearts open, and behavior often begins to follow in a more positive direction. Here are seven simple ways to connect with your child in everyday life. 1. Through Presence Set distractions (read: your phone) aside and give your child your full attention, even if only for a few minutes. Make eye contact, smile, and get down on their level. Use their name warmly. Children light up when they feel you are truly there. 2. Through Play Enter their world. Build the LEGO tower, join in pretend play, race cars, or get silly. Let them take the lead; it shows respect and builds trust. Even ten minutes of undistracted play can fill their “connection cup.” 3. Through Listening Notice and name their feelings before jumping to problem-solving. You might say, “You’re mad your tower fell. That’s really frustrating.” Listening itself is a form of connection. Slow down, reflect back what you hear, and let them know you understand. 4. Through Routines and Rituals Create predictable moments of togetherness. A bedtime snuggle, a morning hug, or an after-school snack chat can become small rituals that remind your child, “No matter what, you can count on me.” 5. Through Physical Affection Children thrive on warm, loving touch. A hug, high-five, back rub, or tousle of the hair communicates safety and care. For older kids who pull back, respect their preferences, and find what works, a fist bump, shoulder squeeze, or quick pat can mean a lot. 6. Through Curiosity and Respect Take interest in what interests them, whether it is Minecraft, Pokémon, or something else you may not fully understand. Ask questions and show curiosity. Respect their ideas and opinions- it builds mutual trust. 7. Through Repair Every parent loses their cool sometimes. When it happens, model repair by owning it: “I yelled earlier, and that wasn’t fair. I’m sorry. Can we try again?” Repair teaches children that relationships can bend without breaking and that mistakes can be mended. The bottom line: Connection is built by consistently sending the message, “I see you. I hear you. You matter to me. And I am on your side.” If you would like to strengthen connection in your family and learn practical ways to make it happen, schedule a free call with me. Together, we can create a plan that fits your family and helps you feel more confident. Click here to schedule your free call today Best, Andrea Robbins, M.Ed | Parent Coach | Parenting Vistas

You can't get this from a book

If mornings feel like a race against the clock, complete with missing shoes, making lunches, and arguments about brushing teeth, you’re not alone. Back-to-school season adds new routines and extra demands, which can make mornings feel overwhelming for parents and kids alike. But here’s the good news: mornings don’t have to be chaotic. With a little preparation and a few mindset shifts, you can create smoother, calmer mornings that set the tone for the whole day. Why Mornings Matter Child development experts often say that t ransitions are the hardest part of the day for kids. Children thrive on predictable routines because they help them feel safe and secure. When mornings are consistent, kids know what to expect, and that lowers resistance, power struggles, and stress. Think of mornings as the launchpad for your child’s day. The calmer the launch, the steadier the flight. 3 Expert-Approved Strategies for Easier Mornings 1. Prep the Night Before Lay out clothes, pack backpacks, and prep lunches in the evening. This removes decision fatigue for both you and your child. Parenting author Janet Lansbury calls this “front-loading”—anticipating challenges before they arise so the transition feels smoother. 2. Use a Visual Checklist Instead of repeating yourself (“Brush your teeth! Put on your shoes!”), Create a simple checklist with words or pictures. Kids can follow along step by step, building independence while reducing nagging. Visual schedules support executive functioning skills, especially in younger or neurodivergent kids. 3. Build in Connection Moments Even five minutes of warmth and presence can make mornings smoother. Whether it’s sharing a cuddle, telling a silly joke, or having a quick “morning hug,” that connection helps your child start the day grounded and with confidence. A Mindset Shift for Parents Small shifts make a big difference. Prep what you can, guide with structure, and don’t forget those connection moments. If you need a personalized morning routine specific to your family, book a call here. Warmly, Andrea Robbins, M.Ed | Parenting Coach | Parenting Vistas

Easing the Back-to-School Transition As a former teacher turned parenting coach, I understand how challenging a new school year can be for both kids and parents. The shift brings new routines, new expectations, and lots of big feelings. Bottom Line: Transitions are hard! The truth is, even exciting transitions ask a lot from our kids (and us!). The good news? With a little intention, you can set the tone for a calmer, more connected start. And remember: a smooth transition doesn’t mean everything is stress-free. It means you’re showing up with presence and care, allowing them to feel and express their feelings, and helping your child navigate the changes with confidence. Here are 3 simple ways to ease into the new year: ✨ Preview what’s ahead Talk with your child about what school will look like. Walk through their schedule, visit the school if you can, or simply wonder aloud together: “I wonder what lunch will be like?” This helps kids feel prepared instead of surprised. ✨ Anchor your mornings with routine Morning chaos is often the biggest stressor. Create a rhythm that works for your family, whether it’s a breakfast ritual, a visual checklist (with pictures if they are not reading yet), or a few minutes of calm connection before the day begins. Predictability builds security. ✨ Focus on connection, not perfection No one gets it right every day. What matters most is your relationship with your child. Take time for small moments of connection: snuggles before bed, shared laughter, or a quick check-in after school. These little things matter more than flawless routines. Back-to-school is the perfect time to reset family routines. If you’d like help creating a plan that works for your unique family, schedule a free call with me here https://calendly.com/andrearobbinsparenting

Whether it's your child's very first day of school or their 12th, the shift from summer's flow to the structure of the school year is felt by everyone, kids and parents alike. Why? Because routines change. Expectations change. Energy changes. Even the most exciting transitions ask our brains and bodies to adjust, and that adjustment can bring big challenges. What You Might Notice While every child responds differently, it's common to see: Separation anxiety in younger kids More meltdowns and moodiness Defiance or resistance to routines School refusal or reluctance to get ready These behaviors aren't a sign that something is wrong, but they're signals that your child is adjusting to big changes. 6 Ways to Ease the Transition 1. Start Talking About School This will help reduce uncertainty and gives your child space to share any worries. "What do you think this year will be like?" "Which friends do you hope to see?" 2. Start tightening Routines Early Adjust bedtimes, wake-ups, and mealtimes a week to 10 days before school starts. A slow shift is easier on everyone than a sudden change . 3. Visit If You Can If your child is starting at a new school or with a new teacher, visit the classroom or playground ahead of time. Familiarity and knowing what to expect calms the brain. 4. Keep Your Worries to Yourself Your child doesn't need to carry your concerns. Offer encouragement and reassurance instead. 5. Prioritize Connection Extra hugs, shared breakfast, or 5 minutes of undivided attention before school can set a calm, cooperative tone for the day. 6. Schedule Less at First Give your child downtime after school to rest and decompress. Even kids who love school can come home drained. Back-to-school is not just about sharpened pencils and new lunchboxes. It's about helping our kids (and ourselves) step into a new rhythm with confidence, calm, and connection. Here's to a smooth start to the school year! Andrea Robbins, M.Ed Parenting Coach | Parenting Vistas Every family is unique. Let's create a plan that works for yours. Reach out today.

What If You Stopped Trying to Control Your Kid? (And Started Doing This Instead…) Let’s be real: when your child won’t listen, it’s easy to slip into control mode. You raise your voice. You tighten the rules. You double down on consequences. Not because you’re a “bad parent.” Because you’re exhausted. FRUSTRATED. And not sure what else to do. But here’s the thing: control doesn’t create cooperation. It usually creates power struggles, resentment, and disconnection. And if you’ve been stuck in a loop of more consequences and more resistance, you are not alone. Here’s the shift that changes everything: Instead of trying to control your child, focus on what you can control: yourself. Your tone. Your breathing. Your energy. When you shift from managing them to managing you , something powerful happens: You de-escalate tension You model regulation You create the safety your child needs to actually listen and cooperate T ry this simple reset next time the moment spirals: “I can’t make them calm down. But I can take a breath and stay steady.” This one reframe can stop the spiral, for both of you. This isn’t about letting go of boundaries. It’s about leading with connection instead of control. That’s where real, lasting influence lives. And it’s exactly what I help parents do: shift out of reactive power struggles and into calm, intentional, confident leadership. If you’re ready to get out of the control loop and into something that actually works, let's talk. Book a free call Warmly, Andrea Robbins, M.Ed Parenting Coach | Parenting Vistas