Recipe for Cooperation

I talk a lot about connection with my clients. It’s one of those words we hear often in parenting, but sometimes it can feel a little vague. What does connection really look like? Why does it matter so much? Connection is at the heart of parenting. It is what helps children feel secure, valued, and loved. The good news is that connection does not require big gestures. Small, consistent moments of presence can have a lasting impact on your relationship with your child. It is about attuning to your child, really noticing their feelings, listening without judgment, and showing them they matter, even in the middle of big emotions or hard moments. When kids feel seen and understood, something shifts. Cooperation comes more easily. Closeness grows. Their hearts open, and behavior often begins to follow in a more positive direction. Here are seven simple ways to connect with your child in everyday life. 1. Through Presence Set distractions (read: your phone) aside and give your child your full attention, even if only for a few minutes. Make eye contact, smile, and get down on their level. Use their name warmly. Children light up when they feel you are truly there. 2. Through Play Enter their world. Build the LEGO tower, join in pretend play, race cars, or get silly. Let them take the lead; it shows respect and builds trust. Even ten minutes of undistracted play can fill their “connection cup.” 3. Through Listening Notice and name their feelings before jumping to problem-solving. You might say, “You’re mad your tower fell. That’s really frustrating.” Listening itself is a form of connection. Slow down, reflect back what you hear, and let them know you understand. 4. Through Routines and Rituals Create predictable moments of togetherness. A bedtime snuggle, a morning hug, or an after-school snack chat can become small rituals that remind your child, “No matter what, you can count on me.” 5. Through Physical Affection Children thrive on warm, loving touch. A hug, high-five, back rub, or tousle of the hair communicates safety and care. For older kids who pull back, respect their preferences, and find what works, a fist bump, shoulder squeeze, or quick pat can mean a lot. 6. Through Curiosity and Respect Take interest in what interests them, whether it is Minecraft, Pokémon, or something else you may not fully understand. Ask questions and show curiosity. Respect their ideas and opinions- it builds mutual trust. 7. Through Repair Every parent loses their cool sometimes. When it happens, model repair by owning it: “I yelled earlier, and that wasn’t fair. I’m sorry. Can we try again?” Repair teaches children that relationships can bend without breaking and that mistakes can be mended. The bottom line: Connection is built by consistently sending the message, “I see you. I hear you. You matter to me. And I am on your side.” If you would like to strengthen connection in your family and learn practical ways to make it happen, schedule a free call with me. Together, we can create a plan that fits your family and helps you feel more confident. Click here to schedule your free call today Best, Andrea Robbins, M.Ed | Parent Coach | Parenting Vistas

You can't get this from a book

If mornings feel like a race against the clock, complete with missing shoes, making lunches, and arguments about brushing teeth, you’re not alone. Back-to-school season adds new routines and extra demands, which can make mornings feel overwhelming for parents and kids alike. But here’s the good news: mornings don’t have to be chaotic. With a little preparation and a few mindset shifts, you can create smoother, calmer mornings that set the tone for the whole day. Why Mornings Matter Child development experts often say that t ransitions are the hardest part of the day for kids. Children thrive on predictable routines because they help them feel safe and secure. When mornings are consistent, kids know what to expect, and that lowers resistance, power struggles, and stress. Think of mornings as the launchpad for your child’s day. The calmer the launch, the steadier the flight. 3 Expert-Approved Strategies for Easier Mornings 1. Prep the Night Before Lay out clothes, pack backpacks, and prep lunches in the evening. This removes decision fatigue for both you and your child. Parenting author Janet Lansbury calls this “front-loading”—anticipating challenges before they arise so the transition feels smoother. 2. Use a Visual Checklist Instead of repeating yourself (“Brush your teeth! Put on your shoes!”), Create a simple checklist with words or pictures. Kids can follow along step by step, building independence while reducing nagging. Visual schedules support executive functioning skills, especially in younger or neurodivergent kids. 3. Build in Connection Moments Even five minutes of warmth and presence can make mornings smoother. Whether it’s sharing a cuddle, telling a silly joke, or having a quick “morning hug,” that connection helps your child start the day grounded and with confidence. A Mindset Shift for Parents Small shifts make a big difference. Prep what you can, guide with structure, and don’t forget those connection moments. If you need a personalized morning routine specific to your family, book a call here. Warmly, Andrea Robbins, M.Ed | Parenting Coach | Parenting Vistas

Easing the Back-to-School Transition As a former teacher turned parenting coach, I understand how challenging a new school year can be for both kids and parents. The shift brings new routines, new expectations, and lots of big feelings. Bottom Line: Transitions are hard! The truth is, even exciting transitions ask a lot from our kids (and us!). The good news? With a little intention, you can set the tone for a calmer, more connected start. And remember: a smooth transition doesn’t mean everything is stress-free. It means you’re showing up with presence and care, allowing them to feel and express their feelings, and helping your child navigate the changes with confidence. Here are 3 simple ways to ease into the new year: ✨ Preview what’s ahead Talk with your child about what school will look like. Walk through their schedule, visit the school if you can, or simply wonder aloud together: “I wonder what lunch will be like?” This helps kids feel prepared instead of surprised. ✨ Anchor your mornings with routine Morning chaos is often the biggest stressor. Create a rhythm that works for your family, whether it’s a breakfast ritual, a visual checklist (with pictures if they are not reading yet), or a few minutes of calm connection before the day begins. Predictability builds security. ✨ Focus on connection, not perfection No one gets it right every day. What matters most is your relationship with your child. Take time for small moments of connection: snuggles before bed, shared laughter, or a quick check-in after school. These little things matter more than flawless routines. Back-to-school is the perfect time to reset family routines. If you’d like help creating a plan that works for your unique family, schedule a free call with me here https://calendly.com/andrearobbinsparenting

Whether it's your child's very first day of school or their 12th, the shift from summer's flow to the structure of the school year is felt by everyone, kids and parents alike. Why? Because routines change. Expectations change. Energy changes. Even the most exciting transitions ask our brains and bodies to adjust, and that adjustment can bring big challenges. What You Might Notice While every child responds differently, it's common to see: Separation anxiety in younger kids More meltdowns and moodiness Defiance or resistance to routines School refusal or reluctance to get ready These behaviors aren't a sign that something is wrong, but they're signals that your child is adjusting to big changes. 6 Ways to Ease the Transition 1. Start Talking About School This will help reduce uncertainty and gives your child space to share any worries. "What do you think this year will be like?" "Which friends do you hope to see?" 2. Start tightening Routines Early Adjust bedtimes, wake-ups, and mealtimes a week to 10 days before school starts. A slow shift is easier on everyone than a sudden change . 3. Visit If You Can If your child is starting at a new school or with a new teacher, visit the classroom or playground ahead of time. Familiarity and knowing what to expect calms the brain. 4. Keep Your Worries to Yourself Your child doesn't need to carry your concerns. Offer encouragement and reassurance instead. 5. Prioritize Connection Extra hugs, shared breakfast, or 5 minutes of undivided attention before school can set a calm, cooperative tone for the day. 6. Schedule Less at First Give your child downtime after school to rest and decompress. Even kids who love school can come home drained. Back-to-school is not just about sharpened pencils and new lunchboxes. It's about helping our kids (and ourselves) step into a new rhythm with confidence, calm, and connection. Here's to a smooth start to the school year! Andrea Robbins, M.Ed Parenting Coach | Parenting Vistas Every family is unique. Let's create a plan that works for yours. Reach out today.

What If You Stopped Trying to Control Your Kid? (And Started Doing This Instead…) Let’s be real: when your child won’t listen, it’s easy to slip into control mode. You raise your voice. You tighten the rules. You double down on consequences. Not because you’re a “bad parent.” Because you’re exhausted. FRUSTRATED. And not sure what else to do. But here’s the thing: control doesn’t create cooperation. It usually creates power struggles, resentment, and disconnection. And if you’ve been stuck in a loop of more consequences and more resistance, you are not alone. Here’s the shift that changes everything: Instead of trying to control your child, focus on what you can control: yourself. Your tone. Your breathing. Your energy. When you shift from managing them to managing you , something powerful happens: You de-escalate tension You model regulation You create the safety your child needs to actually listen and cooperate T ry this simple reset next time the moment spirals: “I can’t make them calm down. But I can take a breath and stay steady.” This one reframe can stop the spiral, for both of you. This isn’t about letting go of boundaries. It’s about leading with connection instead of control. That’s where real, lasting influence lives. And it’s exactly what I help parents do: shift out of reactive power struggles and into calm, intentional, confident leadership. If you’re ready to get out of the control loop and into something that actually works, let's talk. Book a free call Warmly, Andrea Robbins, M.Ed Parenting Coach | Parenting Vistas

Parenting Tip of the Week: Connection Before Correction Because calm is more powerful than control Have you ever found yourself jumping in to fix, correct, or explain the moment your child starts to melt down only to realize it's making things worse? You're not alone. It's a totally human response. We want to help. We want the moment to stop and want to get through to them. But here’s the truth: When a child is emotionally flooded; yelling, crying, melting down, they’re not in a space to hear logic or correction. Jumping in to fix, teach, or redirect too quickly can actually escalate the moment, not soothe it. Why? Because their nervous system is overwhelmed and unable to access logic, empathy, or self-regulation. And the thing that will bring them back? Your calm, safe presence. Regulation is contagious. your nervous system has the power to calm theirs. That means your presence, more than your solutions can help settle their storm. Start With Connection, Not Correction When things get tense, try this: Pause and get grounded yourself first Kneel down to their eye level Make eye contact Use a calm, quiet voice Offer proximity without pressure You might say: “I see you're having a hard time. I right here” “You don’t have to do this alone.” These small moments of emotional safety help your child’s nervous system settle. Only then can they start to think clearly, listen, and learn. Why It Matters As psychologist and author Mona Delahooke says: “Connection is the pathway to cooperation.” That doesn’t mean we don’t set boundaries or offer guidance. It means we start by helping our child feel emotionally safe. When a child senses they’re being seen rather than judged, supported rather than shamed, their brain can shift out of fight or flight mode. That’s when real growth becomes possible. And just to be clear: Connection is not the same as permissiveness. It's the foundation beneath your boundaries. ❤️ This Week’s Reminder You don’t need the perfect script. You don’t need all the answers. You just need to be the calm in the storm. Your steady presence is often the most powerful tool you have. And if you're feeling stretched or stuck in how to stay grounded when your child isn't, I’m just a reply away. Schedule a free consult call and we can talk about how to bring more connection, calm, and clarity to your parenting. Warmly, Andrea

When your child is in the middle of a meltdown, tantruming, overwhelmed, or simply unable to cope, they can’t think or take in any information, because their brains are in a “fight or flight” state. In those moments, your child’s nervous system is in survival mode, and their brain is focused on safety. This is why trying to correct their behavior or tell them to “calm down” just isn’t effective. Instead, what your child truly needs is connection . Before you rush in with teachings or corrections, consider offering a moment of co-regulation (lending your calm when your child can't access theirs). Once their nervous system has settled, they’ll be able to think more clearly and respond to you.  Why Connection Matters More Than Correction When children feel emotionally safe and connected to their caregiver, their nervous system is better able to calm down. That’s because the part of the brain responsible for reasoning, impulse control, and learning (the prefrontal cortex) only comes online when the child feels safe. And connection creates that safety. Once your child feels calm, that’s when you can gently begin to guide them with logic and teaching. Connection doesn’t mean letting them get away with everything; it simply means meeting them where they are, offering the emotional support they need, and then teaching them once they’re in a place to absorb it. What Does Connection Look Like? Here are some practical ways to co-regulate and show your child that they are safe: Offer words of reassurance: Try saying something like, “I’m right here with you.” Stay calm yourself: Your calm presence helps their nervous system calm down. Use a gentle touch: Sometimes, a hand on their back or just being nearby can can communicate safety and support. Give them space to feel: Sit with them, letting them know it’s okay to feel upset, and that you’re there to help. Next Time You’re in the Midst of a Meltdown… Before you try to correct behavior, try this simple shift: Pause. Connect first. Correct later. Remember, the goal isn’t to dismiss or ignore challenging behavior but rather to address the underlying emotional distress. By prioritizing connection, you create a f oundation of trust and safety , setting the stage for constructive moments of learning (and cooperation) down the road. Looking for more tips on handling meltdowns and building a connected relationship with your kids? Sign up for a free consult call, and we can begin developing a personalized plan that’s specific to your family. Best, Andrea Robbins, M.Ed Parenting Coach | Parenting Vistas

A parent recently told me: “I’m constantly breaking up fights. It’s like I live in a war zone.” Maybe you’ve felt the same lately, especially with the extra time kids spend together during summer. Vacations, late nights, boredom, and heat? It’s the perfect storm for sibling squabbles. But here’s something I want to offer: What if the problem isn’t that your kids are fighting? What if the problem is our expectation that they shouldn’t? Sibling rivalry is normal. Messy. Developmental. And while it feels like a step backward (and annoying), it’s actually a step toward learning how to navigate relationships, handle big feelings, and repair after rupture. It isn't something to "fix". It's something to guide. What changes everything is how we respond. Instead of asking: “How do I stop this fighting?” Try asking: “What skills are my kids missing in this moment?” Skills like: Naming emotions Taking turns Self-regulating before reacting Asking for space Repairing after a rupture Here's the truth: When you shift from being the referee (deciding who's right) to coach (teaching the skill), the dynamic softens. And your kids grow stronger, not just in their relationship with each other, but in the way they move through the world. Because remember, being a sibling is training for every relationship- current and future. Andrea Robbins, M.Ed Parenting Coach | Parenting Vistas Set up your free consult call today and we can design a personalized plan that suits your family.